  Cunt: The Origin Of The WordThe etymology of 'cunt' is actually considerably more complex than is generally supposed. The word's etymology is highly contentious, as Alex Games explains: "Language scholars have been speculating for years about the etymological origins of the 'c-word'" (2006). A consensus has not yet been reached, as Ruth Wajnryb admits in A Cunt Of A Word (a chapter in Language Most Foul): "Etymologists are unlikely to come to an agreement about the origins of CUNT any time soon" (2004), and Mark Morton is even more despairing: "no-one really knows the ulterior origin of cunt" (2003). In Cunt, a chapter from the anthology Dirty Words, Jonathan Wilson notes the word's etymological convolution: "The precise etymology of cunt, yet unresolved, continues to engender the most arcane and complex disputes" (2008). Greek Macedonian terms for 'woman' - 'guda', 'gune', and 'gyne' - have been suggested as the word's sources, as have the Anglo-Saxon 'cynd' and the Latin 'cutis' ('skin'), though these theories are not widely supported. Jay Griffiths (2006), for example, links 'cunt', 'germinate', 'genital', 'kindle', and 'kind' to the Old English 'ge-cynde' and Anglo-Saxon 'ge-cynd' (extended to 'ge-cynd-lim', meaning 'womb'); to this list, Peter Silverton adds 'generate', 'gonards', and 'genetics', derived from the Proto-Indo-European 'gen' or 'gon'. 
Towards An Etymology Of CuntPerhaps the clearest method of structuring the complex etymology of 'cunt' is to approach it letter by letter, and this is the approach I have taken here. I have examined the Indo-European, Latin, Greek, Celtic, and Dutch linguistic influences on 'cunt', and also discussed the wide variety of the word's contemporary manifestations. The prefix 'cu' is an expression of "quintessential femineity" (Eric Partridge, 1961), confirming 'cunt' as a truly feminine term. The synonymy between 'cu' and femininity was in place even before the development of written language: "in the unwritten prehistoric Indo-European [...] languages 'cu' or 'koo' was a word base expressing 'feminine', 'fecund' and associated notions" (Tony Thorne, 1990). The Proto-Indo-European 'cu' is also cognate with other feminine/vaginal terms, such as the Hebrew 'cus'; the Arabic 'cush', 'kush', and 'khunt'; the Nostratic 'kuni' ('woman'); and the Irish 'cuint' ('cunt'). Mark Morton suggests that the Indo-European 'skeu' ('to conceal') is also related. Thus, 'cu' and 'koo', both pronounced 'coo', were ancient monosyllabic sounds implying femininity. 'Coo' and 'cou' are modern slang terms for vagina, based on these ancient sounds. Other vaginal slang words, such as 'cooch', 'coot', 'cooter' (inspiring the Bizarre headline Cooter Couture in 2010), 'cooz', 'cooze', 'coozie', 'coozy', 'cookie', 'choochy', 'chocha', 'cootch', and 'coochie snorcher' are extensions of them. 'Coochie snorcher', as in The Little Coochie Snorcher That Could from The Vagina Monologues, is a childish euphemism for 'cunt' that has generated the following (often elaborate) variants:
The phrase also inspired the song titles Itchycoo Park (The Small Faces, 1967), Rock And Roll Hoochie Koo (Rick Derringer, 1974), and (I'm Your) Hoochie Coochie Man (Muddy Waters, 1954). Hoochie Coochie Men was also the name of Long John Baldry's backing band during the 1960s. Also, heterosexual pornographic films are known as 'cooch reels'. The feminine 'cu' word-base is also the source of the modern 'cow', applied to female animals, one of the earliest recorded forms of which is the Old Frisian 'ku', indicating the link with 'cu'. Other early forms include the Old Saxon 'ko', the Dutch 'koe', the Old Higher German 'kuo' and 'chuo', the German 'kuhe' and 'kuh', the Old Norse 'kyr', the Germanic 'kouz', the Old English 'cy' (also 'cua' and 'cyna'), and the Middle English 'kine' and 'kye'. The prefix has also been linked to elliptical (thus, perhaps, metaphorically vaginal) terms such as 'gud' (Indo-European, 'enclosure'), 'cucuteni' ('womb-shaped Roman vase'), 'cod' ('bag'), 'cubby-hole' ('snug place'), 'cove' ('concave chamber'), and 'keel' ('convex ridge'). The Italian 'guanto' ('glove') and the Irish 'cuan' ('harbour') may also be related, as they share with 'vagina' the literal meaning 'receptacle'. 'Quality', and even 'cudgel', have been suggested as further links, though a cudgel seems more like a cock than a cunt, and indeed none of these terms have the demonstrably feminine associations of 'cunt' or 'cow'. 'Cu' also has associations with knowledge: 'can' and 'ken' (both 'to know') evolved from the 'cu'/'ku' prefix, as, perhaps did 'cognition' and its derivatives. RF Rattray highlights the connection between femininity and knowledge: "The root cu appears in countless words from cowrie, Cypris, down to cow; the root cun has two lines of descent, the one emphasising the mother and the other knowledge: Cynthia and [...] cunt, on the one hand, and cunning, on the other" (1961). Indeed, there is a significant linguistic connection between sex and knowledge: one can 'conceive' both an idea and a baby, and 'ken' means both 'know' and 'give birth'. 'Ken' shares a genealogical meaning with 'kin' and 'kind', from the Old English 'cyn' and the Gothic 'kuni'. It also has vaginal connotations: "['kin'] meant not only matrilineal blood relations but also a cleft or crevice, the Goddess's genital opening" (Barbara G Walker, 1983). The Latin 'cognoscere', related to 'cognate', may indeed be cognate with the sexual organ 'cunt'. Knowledge-related words such as 'connote', 'canny', and 'cunning' may also be etymologically related to it, though such a connection is admittedly tenuous. Less debatable is the connection between 'cunctipotent' and 'cunt': both are derived from the Latin 'cunnus'. Geoffrey Chaucer's 'cunt'-inspired term 'queynte' is yet another link between sex and knowledge, as he uses it to mean both 'vagina' and 'cunning'. In Celtic and modern Welsh, 'cu' is rendered as 'cw', a similarly feminine prefix influencing the Old English 'cwithe' ('womb'), from the Welsh 'cwtch'. Interestingly, 'cwtch' (also 'cwtch', with modern forms 'cwts' and 'cwtsh') means 'hollow place' as a noun (and is thus another vaginal metaphor) and 'hide' as a verb. Giovanni Boccaccio's term 'val cava' makes a similar association, as he used it to mean both 'cunt' and 'valley' (as Jonathon Green notes in From Gropecuntelane To Val Cava, part of the 'cunt' chapter in his Getting Off At Gateshead). The 'cw' prefix can be traced back to the Indo-European 'gwen', which also influenced the Greek 'gune' and 'gunaikos', the Sumerian 'gagu', and the feminine/vaginal prefix 'gyn'. Feminine 'gyn' terms include:
The form is also used, in a negative sense, to describe the hatred of women: 'gynography', 'gynephobia'/'gynophobia'/'gynophobic', 'misogyny', 'misogynist', 'misogyne', 'misogynic', 'misogynous', 'misogynistic', 'misogynistical', and 'misogynism'. The female sex androids in Inosensu: Kokaku Kidotai (Mamoru Oshii, 2004) are called "Gynoids". Mary Daly, in Gyn/Ecology (1978), coined the new terms "gynaesthesia", "gynocentric", "gynography", "gynomorphic", and "gynocide". In the same year that Gyn/Ecology was published, 'gynocidal' was used in the title of the feminist journal paper Pornography As Gynocidal Propaganda by Leah Fritz (in New York University Review Of Law And Social Change). 'Gynocide' appears in the title of the third chapter - Despair (Gynocide) - of the film Antichrist (2009). Sharing the 'cw' prefix is 'cwe', meaning 'woman', influencing the Old English 'cuman' and 'cwene'. Anglicised phonetically, 'cwene' became 'quean', and is related to the Oromotic term 'qena', the Lowland Scottish 'quin', the Dutch 'kween', the Old Higher German 'quena' and 'quina', the Gothic 'quens' and 'qino', the Germanic 'kwenon' and 'kwaeniz', the Old Norse 'kvaen' (also 'kvan', 'kvenna', and 'kvinna'), the Middle English 'queene' and 'quene', and the modern English 'quean' and 'queen'. 'Cwm' also shares the 'cw' prefix, however its feminine origins seem initially perplexing, as it means 'valley'. In fact, this topographical definition is clearly a vaginal metaphor, as valleys are as furrowed and fertile as vaginas (although the Welsh slang words for 'vagina' are 'cont' and 'chuint' rather than 'cwm'). Viz magazine (William H Bollocks, 1997) punned on the sound of the Welsh phrase 'pobol y cwm' ('people of the valley') with 'pobolycwm', defined as "people who like quim". 'Cwm' is pronounced 'come', though 'quim', an English slang term for 'vagina', is a mispronounced Anglicisation of it. Alternative etymologies for 'quim' include possibilities such as 'cweman' (Old English, 'to please') and 'qemar' (Spanish, 'to burn'). Variants of 'quim' include 'qwim', 'quiff', 'quin', and 'quem', and it has been combined with 'mince' to form 'quince' ('effeminate'). 'Quimbledon', a combination of 'quim' and 'Wimbledon', is a slang word describing male spectatorship of all-female sports. 'Quimbecile' ('idiot'), is a combination of 'quim' and 'imbecile'. Other extended forms of 'quim' include: 'quedge' ('space between upper thighs'; a combination of 'quim' and 'wedge'), 'quim-trim' ('pubic haircut'), 'quimle' ('cunnilingus'), 'quimble' ('male sexual excitement'), 'quimby' ('middle person in a threesome'), 'quimsby' ('vagina'), 'quimstake'/'quim-stick'/'quim-wedge' ('penis'), 'quimwedge' ('sexual intercourse'), 'quim-sticker' ('womaniser'), 'quimfill' ('penis fully inserted into the vagina'), 'quimling' ('stimulating a woman to orgasm'), 'grimquims' ('group of unattractive vaginas'), 'stretched quimosine' ('elongated vagina', a pun on 'stretch limousine'), 'quim de la quim' ('exceptional vagina', a pun on 'creme de la creme'), 'quimple' ('vagina-shaped dimple'), 'quimper' ('sexual whimper'), and 'quimpotent' ('unable to reach orgasm'). The film Dr Loo And The Phaleks includes a character called Quimberly Dickmore, Viz created the fictional name "Quimford Minge" (Rosemary Flatbread, 2011), and French And Saunders produced a parody of Dr Quinn, Medicine Woman titled Dr Quimn, Mad Woman (broadcast in 1996). 'Quim' has been extended to form 'quimwedge' (literally 'vaginal wedge', thus 'penis'), which is especially interesting as it utilises 'wedge' to mean 'penis' when, in fact, 'cunt' itself derives from the Latin for 'wedge' ('cuneus'). Dorion Burt's Decunta (197-) provides a further oxymoronic 'cunt'/'penis' connection: a large sculpture filled with whiskey, it is blatantly phallic in shape yet vaginal in name. There is a lesbian magazine titled Quim, and related to the term are the portmanteau words 'queef', 'kweef', 'quiff', and 'queefage', all meaning 'vaginal fart' and derived from 'quim' in combination with 'whiff'. In addition to the clumsily Anglicised 'quim', 'cwm' was also adopted into English with the more accurate phonetic spelling 'coombe', from the Old English 'cumb'. 'Coombe' and its variants 'combe', 'comb', and 'coomb' remain common components of surnames and placenames. Indeed, so common is the word in English placenames that Morecambe Bay is often mis-spelt Morecombe: as Ian Mayes is at pains to point out, "It is not Morcombe Bay [...] it is Morcambe Bay" (2001). In England, there are nineteen places called Coombe (one each in Buckinghamshire, Dorset, Gloucestershire, Hampshire, Kingston-upon-Thames, and Kent; two each in Somerset and Wiltshire; three in Devon; six in Cornwall) and eight called Combe (one each in East Sussex, Herefordshire, West Berkshire, Oxfordshire, and Somerset; three in Devon). There is also a song titled Biddy Mulligan: The Pride Of The Coombe (The Clancy Brothers, 196-). In America, 'combe' appears in the name of Buncombe County, from which the slang term 'bunkum' is derived. Congressional representative Felix Walker, ending a long-winded House of Representatives speech in 1821, insisted that he was "bound to make a speech for Buncombe" (Jonathon Green, 1998). Thus, 'buncombe' became synonymous with nonsensical speech, and was later simplified to 'bunkum'. We have seen how 'cu' originated as an ancient feminine term. In the Romance languages, the 'cu' prefix became 'co', as in 'coynte', the Italian 'conno' and 'cunno', the Portugese 'cona', and the Catalan 'cony'. This 'co' prefix may also suggest a possible link with the Old English 'cot', forerunner of 'cottage', and with 'cod' (as in 'codpiece'), 'cobweb', 'coop', 'cog', 'cock', 'chicken', 'cudgel', and 'kobold', though this is not proven. The 'co' prefix is found most abundantly in Spanish, which provides 'concha' ('vagina'), 'chocha' ('lagoon', a vaginal metaphor), and 'cono' ('vagina'). Suzi Feay finds 'cono' preferable to the coarser-sounding 'cunt': "I must say, 'cono' is a much nicer word than its English equivalent" (2003). There is also a Castilian Spanish variant ('conacho'), and a milder euphemistic form: 'cona' and 'conazo'. 'Cono' and its derivatives are practically ubiquitous in the Spanish language, as Stephen Burgen explains: "People are often shocked at the shear quantity of conos in Spanish discourse" (1996). In Mexico, Spaniards are known colloquially as 'los conos', indicating Mexican surprise at the word's prevalence in Spain. 'Cono' is significantly milder than its English equivalent, 'cunt', and therefore closely mirrors the similarly mild and omnipresent French term 'con' (of which more later). The transition from 'cu' to 'co' can be seen most clearly in the progression from the Old French 'cun' and 'cunne', to the Middle French 'com' and 'coun', and the modern French 'con'. These terms contain the letter 'n', and this is a clue that their evolution from 'cu' was indirect. The missing link is the Latin term 'cuneus', meaning 'wedge'. 'Wedge' and 'cunt', however, seem unlikely associates, as Jane Mills explains: "I know what a cunt looks like, and the word 'wedge' doesn't sort of spring to mind!" (Kerry Richardson, 1994). The 'wedge'/'cunt' link actually rests on their shared cuneiform shape: 'cuneus' led to both 'cuneiform' and 'cunt', with both words describing wedge-shaped triangular formations. The Latin 'cuneat'/'cuneate' and 'cuneare' also derive from 'cuneus', and are the sources of the modern 'coin'. Euphemistically, 'coin' means 'conceive', and 'coiner' can refer to a man who impregnates a woman, thus the word has a demonstrably sexual, if not explicitly genital, connection. Thus, 'cuneiform', 'coin', and 'cunt' share the same etymological origin: 'cuneus'. The connection between 'cuneus' and 'cunt' is 'cunnus' (Latin for 'vagina'; perhaps also related to 'culus', meaning 'anus'), and this connection is most clearly demonstrated by the term 'cunnilingus' ('oral stimulation of the vagina'). In this combination of 'cunnus' and 'lingere' ('to lick'), we can see that 'cunnus' is used in direct reference to the vagina, demonstrating that the 'cun' prefix it shares with 'cunt' is more than coincidental. (The adjective is 'cunnilingual', and cunnilinus is performed by a cunnilinguist.) Euphemistic variants of 'cunnilingus' include 'cunnilinctus', 'cumulonimbus', 'cunning lingus', 'Colonel Lingus' (t-shirt slogan), 'dunnylingus' (incorporating the slang 'dunny', meaning 'toilet', suggesting cunnilingus performed in a bathroom), 'conulingus' (a contraction of 'con you cunnilingus'), and "Canni langi" (Michelle Hanson, 2003). It is often comically confused with 'cunning linguist', as in the Sluts song Cunning Linguist (1982), and was evoked by the Not The Nine O'Clock News song and album (The Memory) Kinda Lingers (1982). Viz has created the convoluted euphemisms 'cumulonimbicile' (a combination of 'cumulonimbus' and a mis-spelling of 'imbicile', referring to a man who cannot perform cunnilingus), "cumulously nimbate", and "cumulonimbulate" (Roger Mellie, 2005). 'Cunnus' also occurs in the phrase 'cunnus diaboli', medieval "cunt-shrine[s]" known as 'devilish cunts' and defined by Barbara G Walker as "Sacred places associated with the world-cunt [that] sometimes embarrassed Victorian scholars who failed to understand their earlier meaning" (1983). There are many terms derived from 'cunnus' that have either literal or metaphorical vaginal or maternal connotations: the Roman goddess Cunina, the pagan goddess Cundrie, the Welsh 'cunnog', 'cuniculus' ('passageway'), 'cununa', and 'cunabula' ('cradle'). 'Cunctipotent', meaning 'all-knowing' or "having cunt-magic" (Barbara G Walker, 1983), is also derived from 'cunnus', and links sex to knowledge in the manner discussed earlier. Also from 'cunnus' is 'cundy', which means 'underground water channel' and is slang for 'vaginal fluid', a vaginal metaphor in the manner of 'cwm'. The Greek 'kusos', 'kusthos', 'konnos' ('tuft of hair'), and 'konnus' (perhaps related to the Egyptian 'ka-t'), all emerged in parallel with 'cunnus'. Along with the Hebrew 'kus' and 'keus', they share an initial 'k' in place of the Latin 'c'. In modern Czech, 'kunda' ('vagina') is an invective equivalent to 'cunt', and is also found in the diminutive form 'kundicka' (the closest English equivalent being 'cuntkin'). In the Volga region of Russia, 'kunka' is a dialect term for 'cunt' related to 'kunat'sja' ('fuck') and 'okunat' ('plunge'). The Norwegian 'kone' ('wife') provides a further variant form, related to the 'ku' and 'cu' feminine prefixes already discussed. Modern Norwegian includes a broad lexicon of related terms, including 'torgkone' ('market-woman'), 'vaskekone' ('washer-woman'), 'gratekone' ('female mourner'), and 'kvinne' ('woman', also spelt 'kvinner' and 'kvinnelig'). Like Norway's 'kone' and its variants, there are are many other words with similar meanings, also belonging to Scandinavian languages: 'kunton', the Old Swedish 'kona', 'kundalini' ('feminine energy'), 'khan' ('Eurasian matriarch'), the Hittite 'kun' and 'kusa' ('bride'), the Basque 'kuna' (also 'cuna'), the Danish 'kusse', the Old Norse and Old Frisian 'kunta' and 'kunte', the Middle Lower German 'kutte', the Middle Higher German 'kotze' ('prostitute'), and the Icelandic 'kunta' (or 'kunt'). The Old Dutch 'kunte' later developed into the more Latinate Middle Dutch 'cunte' and 'conte', and the modern Swedish 'kuntte', though the modern Dutch term is 'kutt'. Also spelt 'kut', and extended to 'kutwijf' ('cuntwife'), 'kutt' has been used as the title of the porn magazine Kutt (2002), leading to Lee Carter's 'uncut' pun "live and unKutt" (2002). It is interesting that these Dutch examples include the suffixes 'te' and 'tt', as the final 't' of "the most notable of all vulgarisms" has always been "difficult to explain" (1961), according to Eric Partridge, who included 'cunt' in his Dictionary Of Slang And Unconventional English. The complex etymological jigsaw of this "most notorious term of all" (1947) can now be broadly pieced together: the 'cu' is Proto-Indo-European, the 'n' is Latin, and the 't' is Dutch. The Middle English 'kunte', 'cuntt', 'cunte', 'count', and 'counte' bear the marks of each of these three influences. 
Case Study: Cunt As A Proper NounWe have seen how the Celtic 'cwm' was influenced by the feminine prefix 'cu', a topographical vagina metaphor comparing the shape and fertility of valleys and vaginas. Other water-related terms also have similarly vaginal connotations, such as 'cundy' ('underground water channel'), which is a hydrographical vaginal metaphor derived from 'cunnus'. Similarly, 'cuniculus', also from 'cunnus', means 'passageway', and was applied to Roman drainage systems. Keith Allen and Kate Burridge (2006) cite 'cundy' as an early variant of 'conduit', alongside 'cundit', 'kundit', and 'cundut'; they also suggest that 'channel', 'canell', 'canal', and 'kennel' are related to it. 'Konnos', the Greek for 'vagina', is derived from 'cunnus' and the Sanskrit 'cushi'/'kunthi', meaning 'ditch', as both vaginas and ditches are channels for water. The Spanish 'chocha' ('lagoon') is another vaginal metaphor. The Russian 'kunka' describes two hands cupped together carrying water. 'Cut', a further term meaning 'water channel', is a recognised euphemism for 'cunt', though is not etymologically related to it. The vaginal water channel allusion is replicated by the River Kennet in Wiltshire, as Kennet was originally Cunnit: "At Silbury Hill [the river] joins the Swallowhead or true fountain of the Kennet, which the country people call by the old name of Cunnit and it is not a little famous amongst them" (William Stukeley, 1743). Adjacent to the river is the Roman settlement Cunetio, also spelt Cunetione, Cunetzone, Cunetzione, and Cunetiu (though now known as Mildenhall). "The name ['Cunetio'] must be left unresolved", insist ALF Rivet and Colin Smith (1979), though its origin, like Kennet's, is the Celtic 'kuno'. The rivers Kent (formerly Kenet) and Cynwyd share Kennet's etymology, and, as Michael Dames explains, Kennet's link to 'cunt' is readily apparent: "we may yet rediscover the Kennet as Cunnit, and the Swallowhead as Cunt. The name of that orifice is carried downstream in the name of the river. Cunnit is Cunnt with an extra i. As late as 1740, the peasants of the district had not abandoned the name [...] The antiquity of the form is clearly shown by the Roman riverside settlement called Cunetio - their principal town in the entire Kennet valley" (1976). The earliest 'cunt' citation in the Oxford English Dictionary features the word as a component of a London streetname: circa 1230 in Southwark, there was a street called Gropecuntelane (though variants of the name include Groppecountelane, Gropecontelane, and Gropecunt Lane). The street was part of the 'stews', the Southwark red-light district, though its name was not confined only to London. There was also a Gropecuntelane in Oxford (later renamed Grove Passage and Magpie Lane), a Grapcunt Lane in York, a Cunte Street in Bristol (later renamed Host Street), and, in Paris, Rue de Poile-Con and Rue Grattecon. Bristol also had a Gropecountlane, later shortened to Gropelane, subsequently changed to Hallier's Lane, and finally Nelson Street. London's Gropecuntelane was later shortened to Grope Lane, subsequently became Grub Street, and is now Milton Street. Martin Wainwright cites a Grope Lane in York, perhaps a sanitised form of Grapcunt Lane or Gropcunt Lane, which was further sanitised to Grape Lane "by staid Victorians who found the original Grope - historically related to prostitution - too blatant" (2000). Keith Briggs (2009) lists numerous variants: Groppecuntelane in Northampton, Gropecuntelane in Wells (subsequently Grope Lane, Grove Lane, and Union Street), Gropecountelane in Shrewsbury (subsequently changed to Grope Lane), Gropecuntelane in Great Yarmouth, Gropecuntelane in Norwich, Gropecountelane in Windsor, Gropecountelane in Stebbing, Gropequeyntelane in Reading, Gropecuntlane in Cambridgeshire, Gropcuntlane in Shareshill, Gropecunt Lane in Grimsby, Grapecuntlane in Newcastle, and Gropecunt Lane in Banbury. Other 'cunt'-related placenames include Coombe and Kennet, discussed earlier, the evocative Ticklecunt Creek, and the fictitious "Cunt Hill" (Robert Coover, 1983). In Barcelona there is a restaurant called Bar Cuntis, there is a town in China called Cuntan, and there is a town in northern England called Scunthorpe (Who Put The *@!+ In Scunthorpe?, asked Empire in 1993). There are places called Cunt in Spain and Turkey, and Spain also has a town called Cunter. Keith Briggs, for his paper OE And ME Cunte In Place-Names (2009), researched medieval towns and villages whose names derive from 'cunt'. He cites an area once known as Cunta Heale, which Nicholas P Brooks (1982) translates as "cunt-hollow". He also mentions Shauecuntewelle in Kent, Cuntelacheker in Fulstone, Swylecunt Dyche (later Swylecuntdiche) in Macclesfield, Cuntemedewey and Cuntemed in Adstone, Tapcuntlathe in Penrith, Cuntlait in Scotland, Cuntelowe in Parwich, and Cuntelowe in Hatton (the latter being subsequently changed to Countylowe). Briggs also identifies a curious cluster of Lincolnshire place-names with 'cunt' connections: Cuntebecsic, Hardecunt, Cuntewellewang, Cuntesik, Cuntland, and Scamcunt Grene. He also cites Hungery Cunt, which appears on a 1750 military map of Scotland in Cleish, though the name is presumably a mis-spelling of Hungeremout. Graeme Donald cites another form of 'cunt' used as a proper noun, this time in medieval surnames, two of which predate the OED's earliest citation: "Early records mention such female names as Gunoka Cuntles (1219), Bele Wydecunthe (1328) and presumably promiscuous male sporting names such as Godwin Clawecunte (1066), John Fillecunt (1246) and Robert Clevecunt (1302)" (1994). Explaining that "Any part of the body which was unusual [or] remarkable was likely to provide a convenient nickname or surname for its owner" (1988), James McDonald cites the further example of Simon Sitbithecunte (1167, again predating the OED). Keith Briggs (2009) cites further 'cunt' names: Cruskunt, Twychecunt, and Bluthercuntesaker. Russell Ash provides more recent examples, in a book chapter titled The C-word (2007): "despite its super-taboo status, 'cunt' and its variants crop up as both a first name and surname in Britain". Ash cites Mary Allcunt (born 1815), Cunt Berger (born 1878), Cuntin Churles (born 1861), Cuntha Cronch (born 1834), A Cunt (baptised 1684), Fanny Cunt (born 1839; also her son, Richard Cunt; her daughters, Ella Cunt and Violet Cunt; her brother, Alfred Cunt), Harry Cunt (born 1874), Richard Harry Cunter (born 1880), Worthy Cuntilla (born 1825), Lancelot S Cuntin (born 1899), Mary Cunting (born 1837), Emma Scunt (born 1845), Cuntliffe Fanny Vidal (born 1887), Joseph Cuntingdon (born 1823), Ellen Cuntly (born 1877), James Cunts (baptised 1757), Margaret Cunty (married 1798), Cunty Hoel (born 1849), Cunt Pepper (born 1828), and Mary Ann Cunt Hunt (born 1829; also her husband, George F Cunt Hunt). He also cites names with 'cunt' homophones: Mike Hunt (born 1842), Phil Mike Hunt, Temperance Kunt (born 1824), and Kunt Zonar (born 1828). Other 'cunt' names include those of the witch Johannes Cuntius, the make-up artist Gabreil de Cunto, the visual-effects artist Karina DiCunto, the writer Maren Hancunt, the actress Lilia Cuntapay, the composer Matias Gomez Decunto, the producer Loredana Cunti, the director Sol Cuntin, the actor John Dacunto, Constance Acunto (owner of The Acunto Group, a talent agency in Los Angeles, from 2005 to 2008), Pilar Cuntin, the actor Richard Acunto, Steve Acunto, the actress Amy Acunto, the actress Isabella Acunto, the actress Constance Acunto, the actor Philip Dacunto, and the director Luciana Rodrigues Dacunto. 'Cunt' pseudonyms include Miss Cunty and Maxine de la Cunt (both drag queens), the singer Dave Cunt, Kunt And The Gang band-members Andy Kunt and Little Kunt, Vaginal Necrosis band-member Mike the Cunt, The Wildhearts band-member Howling Willie Cunt, and the director Ima Cunt ('I'm a cunt', similar to Craig Brown's "amacunt" from 1999). 'Cunt' also appears in the Indian surname Cuntararajan, and the Romanian surnames Cuntan and Cuntanu. A Bit Of Fry And Laurie created the fictional author "Ted Cunterblast" (Roger Ordish, 1989), and Viz writers have used the fictitious names "Cuntly Cuntington" (2011[a]) and "Major V Cuntingdon-Smythe" (2011[b]). The surname Kuntz has a tantalising phonetic similarity to 'Cunts', and is especially notable in the case of WD Kuntz, whose 'cunt' connection is compounded by his position as a gynaecologist. In a similar vein, Matthew Norman quotes a letter from Archibald Clerk Kerr: "[I have] a new Turkish colleague whose card tells me that his name is Mustapha Kunt ['Must have a Cunt']. We all feel like that [...] but few of us would care to put it on our cards" (2003). Tom Conti has received the same treatment: Gareth McLean wrote that "Conti should probably enter the vernacular as a term of abuse" (2003), owing to its similarity to 'cunt'. The surname Kant is commonly confused with 'cunt', as Mark Lawson discovered to his cost on a live television programme: "My error was not to have known that the Philosopher Immanuel Kant's surname is habitually pronounced by academics to rhyme with "punt"" (2003). Furthermore, the name of a character in the film I'll Never Forget What's 'is Name, Quint, has been interpreted as a reference to 'cunt'. Terence Meaden suggests that legal suppression of 'cunt' constituted "a series of vicious witch hunts encouraged by an evil establishment wishing to suppress what amounted to apparent signs of Goddess beliefs" (1992), and, indeed, there was a Japanese goddess Cunda, a Korean Goddess Quani (the Tasmanian 'quani' means 'woman'), a Phoenician priestess Qudshu, a Sumerian priestess Quadasha, and, in India, a goddess known variously as Cunti-Devi, Cunti, Kun, Cunda, Kunda, Kundah, and Kunti, worshipped by the Kundas or Kuntahs. These names all indicate that 'cunt' and its ancient equivalents were used as titles of respect rather than as insults (as does the Egyptian term, 'quefen-t', used by Ptah-Hotep when addressing a goddess). 'Kunti', the name of an Indian goddess, is also an Indonesian term used to describe a mythical female vampire, abbreviated from 'kuntilanak'. My own surname, Hunt, also has associations with 'cunt', as experienced by a character called Mike Hunt in a Leslie Thomas novel: "And if I 'ear any of you giving me nicknames - like My Cunt, Mike 'Unt, get it? - 'is feet will not touch the ground" (2005). The Mike Hunt pun can be traced back as early as the 19th century: "The dance was followed up by an out-and-out song by Mike Hunt, whose name was called out in a way that must not be mentioned to ears polite" (FLG, 1841). Designers Morag Myerscough and Charlotte Rawlins turned 'Mike Hunt' into a neon sculpture titled Has Anyone Seen Mike Hunt? (2004), when they were asked to illustrate the letter 'c' for a British Library exhibition. Maev Kennedy reviewed the sculpture in an article headlined Library Show For Word Rhyming With Hunt: "C, after all, is almost unique in having its own word. The C-word. The hardest word of them all" (2004). Mike Hunt is also the name of an American publishing house. An Australian magazine feature on the c-word was subtitled An Article About Mike Hunt (Rhonda Pietin, 2001). In Australian slang, Mike Hunt is extended to Michael Hunt, which explains why Michael is Aussie slang for 'cunt'. The phrase is found in the Australian drinking toast Mich Hunt's Health (1731). 'Hunt'/'cunt' comparisons are many and varied: I'm Sorry I Haven't A Clue has been introduced as "the show that is to panel games what James Hunt is to rhyming slang!" (John Naismith, 1998); in Head On Comedy a joke was made about "William Hunt" (Pati Marr, 2000); the "rhyming slang potential" (Gareth McLean, 2001[a]) of 'Mr Hunt' has been commented upon. 'Colin Hunt' is another rhyming 'cunt' euphemism: "Colin Hunt, the perpetual office joker in The Fast Show, is evoked. That's all they are, really. A bunch of Colin Hunts" (Charlie Catchpole, 2001). Smut has a comic strip called Kevin Hunt (2001) which puns on 'cunt'. Stupid Hunts, a pun on 'stupid cunts', was used as a headline by Total Film magazine in 2006. Private Eye punned on the connection with a reference to "ISAAC HUNT" (2011) and Tristram Hunt ("what a bunch of Tristrams!", 2010). Kirsty Allsopp demonstrates how easy a 'Hunt'/'cunt' slip-up can be: "I had to stand outside a house and say, "Welcome to The Great House Hunt!" [though instead] I said, "Welcome to The Great House C[unt]!" I was so embarrassed!" (Polly Hudson, 2003). Disc Jockey Nicky Campbell has mispronounced 'hunt' as 'cunt' three times in his BBC Radio 5 career, leading The Sun to call him Nicky C***bell ("pro-c[unt]ing, er, hunting"; Tom Wells, 2/4/2010); his Freudian slip was also reported by the Herald Sun in Australia (BBC Radio Host Drops C-Bomb In On-Air Chat, 2/4/2010). The Viking invader King Canute's name was originally spelt Cnut, an anagram of 'cunt' in the manner of French Connection's FCUK. FCUK and Cnut are both tabooed words with their respective middle letters reversed, the difference being that FCUK was a deliberate reference to 'fuck' whereas Cnut was an accidental reference to 'cunt'. This accidental reference may explain why Canute has now replaced Cnut, in an attempt to Anglicise and elongate the word and thus disguise its similarity to 'cunt'. French Connection initially insisted that the similarity between FCUK and 'fuck' was merely coincidental, though they soon dropped their false modesty by pressing charges against the rival Cnut Attitude clothing brand. Cnut Attitude later rebranded themselves as King Cnut, selling an extensive range of 'cnut'-themed clothing (as worn by characters in Monkey Dust, Chewin' The Fat, and The Baby Juice Express): t-shirts ('CNUT', 'cnut', and 'Cnut'), hoodies ('CNUT'), and thongs ('cnut', 'brazilian cnut', and 'hollywood cnut'). Their t-shirt slogans are: 'SAFFA CNUT', 'AUSSIE CNUT', 'BRAZILIAN CNUT', 'U R A CNUT', 'BRITONS NEED CNUT', 'UNIVERSITY OF CNUT', 'SPRINGBOK CNUT', 'STONED CNUT', 'CHARLIE NOVEMBER UNIFORM TANGO', 'BRITISH CNUT', 'ARMY CNUT', '24 CARAT CNUT', 'sexy cnut', 'posh cnut', 'lazy cnut', 'ginger cnut', 'cheeky cnut', 'pissed cnut', '20th CENTURY CNUT', 'it's spelt fuck you stupid cnut', 'Your boyfriend is a cnut', 'king cnut', 'kiwi cnut', 'miserable cnut', 'tory cnut', 'labour cnut', 'fat cnut', 'run like a cnut', 'bald cnut', 'you cnut be serious?', 'pommie cnut', and 'thick cnut'. King Cnut, known as Cnut the Great, was one of several Danish Cnuts, including St Cnut. His name now prompts predictable double-entendres, such as this from Simon Carr: "John Prescott made King Canute gestures with his hands. Or, more accurately, King Cnut gestures (I'm glad I'm not dyslexic)" (2003). Private Eye punned on the name with its headline Silly Cnut in 2011. A split-second reference occurred in an advertisement for Kellogg's Crunchy Nut Cornflakes, when the final frame read "C NUT" (2002). In Believe Nothing, Rik Mayall played a character called Adonis Cnut, leading another character to ask him: "may I call you A Cnut?" ('may I call you a cunt?'; Claire Hinson, 2002). A Daily Star feature on the programme somewhat missed the point with the headline You Cnut Be Serious, using Cnut as a pun on 'cannot'. 
EuphemismThe euphemistic Spoonerism 'cunning stunts' ('stunning cunts') relies not on rhyme but on a reversal of the initial letters, a trick later imitated by Kenny Everett's "dangerously named" (Mark Lewisohn, 1998) comedy character Cupid Stunt, a Spoonerism of 'Stupid Cunt'. Metallica released a DVD titled Cunning Stunts in 1997. A 'Cunning Stunts' t-shirt is also available, and a 'Cupid Stunt' t-shirt has been produced by SmellYourMum (2007). Furthermore, 'Cunning Stunts' is also the name of an advertising agency and a female theatre group. (There are also theatre groups called House Of Cunt and Theatre de Cunt.) Another 'cunt' Spoonerism is Cunny Funt ('Funny Cunt'), the title of a Smut comic strip. Richard Christopher cites two further 'cunt' Spoonerisms (both of which are rather sexist): "What's the difference between a magician and a chorus line? - The magician has a cunning array of stunts [thus the chorus line has a stunning array of cunts]" and "What's the difference between pigmies and female track stars? - Pigmies are cunning runts [thus female track stars are running cunts]" (199-). In a final Spoonerism, Courtney Gibson (2001) recalls a conversation between the Mayor of Newcastle and the Queen Mother; the Mayor attempted to point out the 'punts and canoes' on the river, though this became "the colourful c[u]nts and panoes cruising the river", to which the Queen Mother replied: "what exactly is a panoe?". 'Cunt' is known euphemistically as 'the monosyllable', 'the bawdy monosyllable', 'the divine monosyllable', and 'the venerable monosyllable', though, paradoxically, its earliest forms (such as 'cunte', 'cunnus', and 'kunta') were all disyllabic. Germaine Greer's Cuntpower Oz lists a page of 'cunt' synonyms under the heading The Divine Monosyllable and Jonathon Green's Slang Down The Ages features a similar selection of vaginal slang terms headed The Monosyllable. Artist Jason Rhoades created a deluxe lambskin-bound book/sculpture titled Birth Of The Cunt (2004), in which he listed various 'cunt' synonyms. 'Constable' (pronounced 'cuntstable') is a further 'cunt' euphemism, due to the phonetic similarity of its first syllable. William Shakespeare uses it in All's Well That Ends Well (1601[a]): "From below your duke to beneath your constable, it will fit any question", and, more recently, 'thingstable' has become a recognised euphemism for 'constable', acknowledging the 'cunt' link. The bawdy comedy film Carry On Constable is a pun on the c-word, with its phrase "silly constable" further emphasising the joke (Gerald Thomas, 1960). Ned Ward has reversed the syllables of 'constable' to create "stablecunt" (1924), and 'constable' has also been rendered as 'cunt stubble' and 'cony-fumble'. Another euphemism for 'cunt' is 'the big C': "the big "C". No, I'm not talking Cancer. I'm talking Cunt" (Anthony Petkovich, 199-). The phrase was used as the headline for an article about 'cunt' by Joan Smith (The Big C, 1998), however it is also the name of a shopping centre and garage in Thailand. Similar terms are 'red c' ('red cunt', a pun on 'Red Sea') and 'open C' ('open cunt'). Other words termed 'big C' include 'cancer' and 'cocaine', and 'cirrhosis'. Even 'C' in isolation has also been used as a substitute for 'cunt', as in "the Cs of Manchester United" (Paul Wheeler, 2004) - a phrase which is seemingly innocuous yet also readily understood as an insult. A handy two-birds-with-one-stone euphemism for both 'fuck' and 'cunt' is the phrase 'effing and ceeing' (thus, 'Woking FC' officially stands for 'Woking Football Club' though has also been extended to 'Woking Fucking Cunts'). 'Cunt' has also been combined with 'cock' to produce the portmanteau word 'cuntock' ('labia'), with 'smug' to produce 'smunt', with 'men' to produce 'munts', with 'gut' to produce 'gunt', with 'arse' to produce 'carse', with 'bastard' to produce "custard" (Roger Thomas, 1994), with 'penis' to produce "Cunis" (Walter Cairns, 2003), with 'prick' to produce "prant" (ACJ Scott, 2003), with 'entourage' to produce 'cuntourage', with 'fucking' by Charlie Brooker to produce "funt" (Paul Wheeler, 2012), and with 'fuck' to produce Peter Sotos's Cuntfuck (in Total Abuse, 1999). Eva Mendes created the extraordinary "motherfuckingcuntwhorebitch" (Chris Hewitt, 2007), and Douglas Coupland created the shorter portmanteu word "Fuckshitpisscunt" (2009). 'Cunt' has also been combined with 'twat' to produce 'twunt', and with 'twat' and 'wanker' to produce 'twankunt'; 'twat' has also been used as a replacement for cunt, for example when two men who were both politicians and gynaecologists were described as "being surrounded by twats. No prizes for guessing what the first draft of that joke was!" (John Spencer and Richard Valentine, 2011). 'Cunt', in print, is often censored as 'c***', though 'c...', 'cxxt', 'c---', '___t', 'c__t', 'c--t', 'c nt', 'c_nt', 'c-nt', 'c*!@!', 'c**t', 'c*nt', '*unt', '*@!+', 'c#@t', "c - " (Oliver Maitland, 2000), "#@*!" (Iain Burchell and Paul Malley, 2006), "@^*#" (CNN, 2008), "@%!*" (Daily Star Sunday, 2007), and '****' have also been used. It has also been intentionally mis-spelt as "cund" (Viz, 2010). Ruth Wajnryb notes the print media's coy treatment of the word: "CUNT has retained its shock-and-horror capacity. A good test of this is how a word is treated in the media. Most print media still baulk at printing CUNT, resorting to the rather quaint convention of asterisk substitution" (2004). Using other characters, especially asterisks, to replace letters (often vowels), serves to accentuate a word's obscenity, drawing attention to its unprintability. Though the word 'cunt' is printed by some British newspapers, it never appears in a large font size, and is therefore never used in headlines. Thus, while articles about 'cunt' may include the word itself in the body-text, their headlines rely on asterisks or euphemisms instead, as in Last Taboo Broken By Sex And The C*** (1999). Other examples include I Heard Maureen Lipman Say The C Word! by Catherine Bennett ("to urge an audience to shout "Cunt" seems like a real treat", 2001), C-Word Flak Leads Hoffman To Tears (John C Ensslin, 2004), and CU President Says C-Word Is Used As Term Of Endearment by Kevin Vaughan (2004). American newspapers are much more cautious about references to swear words in general, and 'cunt' in particular (practically the only exception being The Village Voice, which used the headline Cunt Candy Factory for an article by Tristan Taormino about "disembodied replicas of porn stars' famous bits [moulded into] plaster cunts" in 2005). As we shall see later, not only is 'cunt' a taboo in America, but discussion of this taboo is also a taboo in itself. Thus, while a few British newspapers print 'cunt' in full, and all British newspapers gleefully use the phrase 'the c-word' to describe any word starting with that letter, American newspapers often refuse even to print 'the c-word', let alone printing 'cunt' itself. A significant example of this is Lisa Bertagnoli's article headlined You C_nt Say That (Or Can You?), written for the Chicago Tribune newspaper in 2004. Bertagnoli's article identified a phenomenon she termed "linguistic bleaching", suggesting that 'cunt' is changing its linguistic value through cultural repetition. She argues that, with the word's creeping presence on cable television and in general conversation, it is becoming an increasingly neutral term in casual speech. However, her article, and its (by British standards, quite mild) headline, were considered too strong by the Chicago Tribune editors, who decided at the last minute to remove it while the newspaper was actually being distributed. The article had already been printed, so the section in which it appeared was physically removed from the newspaper, though some early copies could not be recalled and the newspaper's censorship of itself was viewed with both scorn and humour by American media commentators. The scandal was inevitably dubbed "C[u]nt-gate" (Walter Burns and Hildy Johnson, 2004). However, none of the commentators who criticised the Tribune actually used the word 'cunt' themselves. In a radio report about the scandal, for example, Bob Garfield referred to "a word beginning with 'c' and rhyming with 'shunt' [...] the dirtiest [word] in the English language" (Brooke Gladstone, 2004). Lisa Bertagnoli herself, the author of the suppressed article, sees the word as "something vile and hurtful, to be reclaimed", and maintains that women of her generation are not offended by the word: "I say that to my friends; I refer to a part of my body by that word. No big deal". By contrast, she admits that the typical response from older women is somewhat less accepting: "oh, my God. Shocking. Never use that word. Vile, repulsive. I would faint if somebody said it to me". An affectionately disguised variant of 'cunt' is 'cunny', whose variants include 'cunnie', 'cunni', 'cunnyng', 'cunicle', 'conny', 'coney', 'conney', 'conie', and 'cunnikin'. Extensions include 'cunny-burrow' ('vagina'), 'cunny-catcher' ('penis'), 'cunny-fingered' ('butter-fingered'), 'cunny-haunted' ('sex-obsessed'), 'cunny-thumbed' ('feminine thumb gesture'), 'cunnyskin' or 'cunny-skin' ('pubic hair'), 'cunny-warren' ('brothel'/'vagina'), 'cunny-thumper' ('villain'), and 'cunny-hunter' ('womaniser'). 'Cunny' is derived from 'cony' (also spelt 'coney'), which meant 'young rabbit' and was also a slang term for 'vagina' (hence 'cony-hall'). William Shakespeare hinted at this second meaning in Love's Labour's Lost (1588), juxtaposing 'incony' with 'prick' ('penis'): "Let the mark have a prick in't [...] most incony vulgar wit!". 'Cony' can be traced back to the Middle English 'cunin' and 'cuning', the African 'coning', and the Old French 'conin'. Related are 'conyger' (meaning 'warren' and also spelt 'conynger', from the Middle English 'conygere'), the Anglo-Latin 'coningera' and 'conigera', and the Latin 'cunicularium'. The word also appears in Old French, as 'conniniere', 'coniniere', 'coniliere', and 'connilliere'. In an effort to minimise the scurrilous impact of 'cunny', 'cony' was phased out and the meaning of 'rabbit' was extended to animals both young and old. To retain the influence of 'cunny', the rhyming alternative 'bunny' was substituted. Spanish and French provide strikingly similar examples: the French 'connil' ('rabbit') was phased out due to its proximity to 'con' ('cunt'), and replaced with the alternative 'lapin'. The Spanish 'conejo' means both 'rabbit' and 'cunt', and the similar Spanish term 'conejita' ('bunny girl') provides another link between the two elements. The similarity of 'cony' to 'cunny' is echoed by the relationship between 'count' and 'cunt': "It is a likely speculation that the Norman French title 'Count' was abandoned in England in favour of the Germanic 'Earl' [...] precisely because of the uncomfortable phonetic proximity to cunt" (Geoffrey Hughes, 1991). Keith Briggs (2009) cites place-name suffixes such as Le Cunte derived from 'count'. As early as 1572 a direct and bawdy comparison between 'Earl' and 'Count' was made by Stephen Valenger: "Well ay thie wyfe a Countes be yf thou wilt be an Earle; The phonetic similarity of 'Count' to 'cunt' is so striking that accidental obscenities abound: Gordon Williams notes that, "[during] a Restoration performance of Romeo and Juliet [an actress] enter'd in a Hurry, Crying, O my Dear Count! She Inadvertently left out, O, in the pronuntiation of the Word Count [...] which reduced the audience to hysterics" [sic.] (1996). The Falmouth Penryn Packet newspaper once printed 'Countess' as "Cuntess" due to a typing error (20/4/2011). An episode of Have I Got News For You once ended with the words: "So, for our winners: the chance to go to Michael Portillo's constituency and see the count. For our losers: the chance to retype that sentence without the spelling mistake" (Paul Wheeler, 1997). (The programme has also used "bunch of cundurangos" as a pun on 'bunch of cunts'; John FD Northover, 1995.) An identical instance occurred when the first 'O' of a fake cinema sign was lower than the rest of the text: "THE COUNT OF MONTE CRISTO" (Marquee Meltdown!, 1998). Linacre Lane cites 'Count Of Monte Cristo' as a Scouse insult, adding dryly: "The first word is often intentionally mispronounced" (1966). In the 1990s, a sign in a Japanese railway station advertised 'Discunt Tickets', a misprint of 'Discount Tickets'. Bangkok University's School of Accounting's logo replaces the 'o' of 'Accounting' with a graphic representing a ship, rendering it as 'Acc unting'. Like 'count', 'countdown' also has comic potential if its 'o' is removed, as we shall see later. In Cockney rhyming slang, 'John Hunt', 'James Hunt', 'Billy Hunt', 'Ethan Hunt', 'Roger Hunt', 'Treasure Hunt', 'Joe Hunt' (abbreviated to 'Joey'), 'Flingel Blunt' (abbreviated to 'flingel'), 'back to front' (abbreviated to 'backter'), 'Bargain Hunt' (abbreviated to 'bargain'), and 'Charlie Hunt' (abbreviated to 'Charlie') are all euphemisms for 'cunt'. This last example, 'Charlie Hunt', is especially significant, as its abbreviated form 'Charlie' has entered the common vernacular as merely a term of mild reproach. The expression 'proper Charlie', for example, is used frequently without causing offence, as its connection to 'cunt' has been forgotten. A good example of this is the BBC Radio 2 sitcom A Proper Charlie. Although 'Charlie Hunt' is the most often cited origin of the abbreviation 'Charlie', another possible source is 'Charlie Ronce', which is rhyming slang for 'ponce'. 'Sir Anthony Blunt' (abbreviated to 'Anthony Blunt' and 'Sir Anthony') is a further rhyming slang 'cunt' euphemism, leading to James Blunt being known as "Cunty Blunty" (Q, 2005) and the t-shirt slogan 'WHAT A JAMES BLUNT...' (Shot Dead In The Head, 2006). In another reference to James Blunt, Stephanie Merritt's article There Once Was A Singer Called Blunt (2006) provides the first line of a limerick implying a "missing rhyme" with 'cunt'. 'Grumble and grunt' is another Cockney rhyming slang phrase meaning 'cunt'. It has been abbreviated to 'grumble', though this abbreviation is frequently a reference to pornography, so-called because heterosexual porn includes images of vaginas ('grumble and grunts'). In this pornographic sense, 'grumble' has been extended to form 'grumbled' ('caught in the act of masturbation', a pun on 'rumbled'), 'grumblehound' ('constant seeker of porn'), 'grummer' ('porn magazines'), 'jumble grumble' and 'grumble sale' ('cheap pornography'), 'grumbleweed' ('weak from excessive masturbation'), 'grumbelows' ('sex shop'), 'grumbler' ('pornography vendor'), and 'grumbilical chord' ('connecting lead for porn TV channels', a pun on 'umbilical chord'). 'Sir Berkeley' and 'Lady Berkeley' are also Cockney rhyming slang for 'cunt', albeit rather more tangentially. The 'Berkeley'/'cunt' connection stems from the rhyming slang term 'Berkeley Hunt', abbreviated to 'Berkeley' and also known as 'Berkley Hunt', 'Berkshire Hunt', 'Burlington Hunt', and 'Birchington Hunt'. It is from this that the mild insult 'berk' (also 'birk', 'burk', and the Australian 'burke') is abbreviated, thus, as Jonathon Green explains, "when [people] say 'You're a right berk', what they're actually saying is 'You're a right cunt', which is much more obscene" (Kerry Richardson, 1994). In this sense, 'berk' is similar to 'Charlie', as both are common, mild insults whose origins as rhyming slang for 'cunt' have been forgotten. Total Film created the derogatory portmanteau word "Craftberk" (Hollywords, 2003), and The Sun punned on the coffe-shop company 'Starbucks' with the headline Starberks (6/10/2008). In a spoof article supposedly written by Boris Johnson, Private Eye (2007) defined "Berkely Hunt" (a mis-spelling of either 'Berkeley Hunt' or 'Berkley Hunt') as "Darius Guppy", in a reference to Johnson's association with Guppy tarnishing his public image; the magazine also combined 'Berkeley Hunt' and 'cunning stunts' to create the headline Berkeley Stunts (2009); later that year, it punned on the name Anton du Beke with "Anton Du Berk" (2009); and it also punned on Sally Bercow's surname: "don't make your husband look like a berc!" (Glenda Slagg, 2013). The Two Ronnies punned on 'berks' with the homophone "Burke's", in their Mastermind sketch (Paul Jackson, 1980). Other Cockney rhyming slang 'cunt' euphemisms are 'all quiet' (from All Quiet On The Western Front; extended to 'all quiet on the breast an' cunt'), 'eyes front', 'Grannie Grunt', 'groan and grunt', 'gasp and grunt', 'growl and grunt', 'sharp and blunt', and 'National Front'. Roger's Profanisaurus (2011) added "Kenny Lunt" and "Tessa Munt" to the Cockney rhyming slang 'cunt' lexicon. The Cockney pronunciation of 'cunt' was evocatively captured by Clark Collis ("You cahnt!", 2001) and Irvine Welsh ("CAHHNNTTT", 2002), and by the headline Facking Cants ("You like the word cunt, huh?"; Anita Crapper, 2005). The Yorkshire equivalent is "coont" (Peter Silverton, 2009). Like rhyming slang, limericks also rely on rhyme for their effect: 'There was a young squaw of Chokdunt In backslang, 'cunt' is 'tenuc' and 'teenuc' (the extra letters being added to facilitate pronunciation), and 'cunt' in pig Latin is 'untcay'. (In 1992, on the television comedy show A Stab In The Dark, David Baddiel pronounced the word backwards: "It is a brilliant insult. A word with so many hard consonants in it in short a short time: un, tuh, cuh".) Anagrams of 'cunt' include the Latin term 'tunc', the Viking King Cnut, and Jake and Dinos Chapman's Ucnt (2003). A feminist pressure-group called 'Cunst', an anagram of 'cunts' and a pun on 'kunst' (German for 'art') campaigned in 1996 against male domination of the Turner Prize. The euphemism 'see you next Tuesday' utilises each letter of 'cunt' individually, with 'see you' sounding like 'c u', and 'n t' being the respective initial letters of 'next' and 'Tuesday'. The online group PrideTShirts sells 'See You Next Tuesday' t-shirts, and See You Next Tuesday (2005) is also the title of an album by Fannypack. Time Out magazine created posters with the slogan 'See you next Tuesday' in 2012. See You Next Tuesday is also the title of a play adapted from the film Le Diner De Cons, thus both the play and the film have 'cunt'-related titles. Ruth Wajnryb's book Language Most Foul was retitled C U Next Tuesday when it was published in the UK in 2005. The Guardian punned on Azealia Banks's song 212 with "SEE YOU NEXT 212-DAY" (The Populist, 2011). Similar to 'see you next Tuesday' is "see you in Toledo" (Brooke Gladstone, 2004), though in this case the letter 'n' is provided by a contraction of 'in'. Other variants are "catch you next Tuesday" (Brent Woods, 2005) and "See you, Auntie" (Tool, 1996). In November 2012, Sight And Sound magazine punned on 'see you next Tuesday' with the headline See You Last Tuesday, a reference to Tuesday Weld. 'Cunt' acronyms include:
In a 2007 journal paper about nanotechnology, the chemical symbol for copper ('Cu') was combined with the initial letters of 'nano tube' to create "CuNT" (Dachi Yang, Guowen Meng, Shuyuan Zhang, Yufeng Hao, Xiaohong An, Qing Wei, Min Ye, and Lide Zhang). 'Cunt' has also appeared as an accidental acronym, for example in Private Eye's headline "Cameron Urged Not to Take Any More Holidays" (The Eye's Most Read Stories, 2011). Almost a 'cunt' acronym is the "Kuwait Union for New Teachers", abbreviated to 'KUNT'. This spoof organisation placed a classified advertisement in the Kuwait Times: "Teacher? New to Kuwait? Then you need the Kuwait Union for New Teachers. Become a KUNT, your friends can be KUNTs too" (2001). They have also printed the text onto a t-shirt. 'KUNT' can perhaps be regarded as a sly joke by an English-speaking writer in Kuwait. (Madonna made a similar joke in 2006 by creating a fake radio station, with a DJ announcing: "You're listening to KUNT".) Similarly, embedded within an article by Sally Vincent is the line "Point A moved to point B to point C until" (2003), which is arguably an intentional reference. There is no ambiguity whatsoever surrounding "-cunthorpe", a deliberate truncation of the Humberside town Scunthorpe on the back cover of a book by Stephen Fry and Hugh Laurie (1995). Likewise, when a knight in Thomas Heywood's Wisewomen Of Hogsdon (16--) declares, in Latin, "Nobis ut carmine dicunt", he is described as "a beastly man" to highlight the embedded obscenity. 'Cunt' also appears surreptitiously in 'cuntur', the original Peruvian term for 'condor', and in the Latin terms 'producunt' and 'nascuntur'. Phonetically, it is contained within otherwise innocent words such as 'country', 'significant', 'control' ("cunt-troll"; From The Message Boards, 2011), 'replicant' (Sadie Plant's From Viruses To Replicunts in On The Matrix, 1996), 'continuing' ("Stan says you're a cont-, you're a cont-, Stan says you're a cont-, cunt-, cunt-, you're a continuing source of inspiration"; Trey Parker, 2003), and 'applicant' (Dominic Brigstocke, 2007): "Appli-" As John Hamilton explains in an 1899 letter quoted by Linda Mugglestone (2000), 'cunt' has "the same syllable as a contraction of Contra".
The C-WordsMatthew Parris once called 'cunt' "a word beginning with 'c', which I couldn't possibly repeat" (Rod Liddle, 2001), and in keeping with this is the commonest 'cunt' euphemism: 'the c-word' (not to be confused with 'crossword', which is sometimes abbreviated to 'c-word'). Simon Carr reports that his children confuse 'the c-word' with "the K-word" (2001). He also quotes their confusion over 'cunt' itself: "Mummy, clint! That's a rude word, isn't it? Clint!". Paul Merton joked about a similar misunderstanding on Have I Got News For You: "You should see how he spells 'Clinton'!" (John FD Northover, 1992[b]). Ruth Wajnryb writes "the 'SEE'-word" (2004), to distinguish it from the hard 'c' sound of 'cunt'. If 'cunt' can be a 'c-word', can 'cock' be one, too? Sex And The City seems to think it can (Nicole Holofcener, 2000): "his big, beautiful cock." 'Cunt' may be the most notorious c-word, though there are, of course, many more: "There are 46,904 c-words as well as the c-word" (Deborah Lee, 2006). A surprisingly large number of these other words beginning with 'c' have also occasionally been called 'the c-word', usually for comic effect. The following is a representative selection. "Catholicism: the c-word. Not the c-word, a c-word" (Ricky Gervais and Stephen Merchant, 2005); "two other C-words: Conscience and Cyclothymia" (Alexandra Mullen, 2012); "[Christopher] Nolan's script, co-authored with his brother Jonathan, never deigns to use the c-word: Catwoman" (Robbie Collin, 2012); "non-carcinogenic [...] Non-cardiogenic [...] avoid confusing C words" (Ivan Marples, 2011); "Ah, the c-word: context" (Tom Shone, 1994); "I'm confused. Uh oh, the other dreaded c-word." (Nicola Hurst and Melanie Crawford, 2013); "Credibility [...] the c-word" (Gavel Basher, 2011); "the c-word - class" (Dea Birkett, 2001 [also Dominic Cooke's Why My Theatre Will Always Use The C-Word in The Observer (16/9/2007), and The C Word in The Guardian (18/1/2010)]); "the 'C' is for 'Campbell', but we're a bit wary of using the c-word on air" (Abiola Awojobi, 2001); "they said the C word. Cut" (The Sun, 2003); "the c-word: 'cuts'" (Victoria Derbyshire [BBC Radio 5 Live], 2009); "another c-word: 'contextualise'" (Dymphna Flynn, 2013); "Clunge (a slang word for female genitalia) is the new C-word" (Liz Hoggard, 2011); "try to avoid mentioning the crowd [because] they hate the C-word here" (Charlie Wyett, 2002); "he was anxious to avoid the c-word: 'corporate'" (Annie Dunkinson, 2003); "In went the c-word - c as in crisis" (Catherine Donegan, 2012); 'constraint': "The Labour C-word" (Ann Treneman, 2009); 'creativity': "you may recognise the real creators by the fact they seldom use the c-word" (Susannah Herbert, 2003); "the real unknown is the 'C' word, corruption" (Tim Butcher, 2003); "whether the c-word crossed his vivid lips. [...] What [Alex] Ferguson cannot be allowed to do is call a referee's assistant a "cheat" as he apparently did" (Henry Winter, 2003); 'comprehensive': "their party is still in thrall to the c-word" (Daily Telegraph, 2003); 'Christian': "President [George] Bush may slip the C-word into his press conferences" (John Adamson, 2003); 'climate change': "President George Bush [...] has acknowledged climate change in his annual State of the Union address" (Bush Utters The 'C' Word, 2007); ; 'Coren': "the subs neglected to call Giles by the C-word - and [called him] Giles Goren" (Street Of Shame, 2008); "the c-word: 'cocaine'" (Ray Herbert, 2010); 'clay': "A devotee of the C-word" (Grace Glueck, 1996); 'capitalism': "Capita [...] reckons the C-word could double the size of its business" (Andrew Cave, 2003); "hasn't content become the new c-word?" (Tyler Brule, 2011); "the C word is never far away [...] the collonial past lives on" (Michael Henderson, 2000); "Smiths is looking distinctly like a conglomerate. [...] The dreaded C word is enough to smash any company's rating" (Neil Bennett, 2000); 'civil war': "All because of the use of the C-word?" (Howard Kurtz's The C-Word, 2006); 'caravan': "What annoys park-home owners about the "C" word is [the implicit] rootlessness that it carries" (Christopher Middleton, 1999); "the dreaded "c" word: avoid [...] consolidation" (Edmond Jackson, 2001); "Don't mention the C word. These are not conservatories" (Jon Stock, 2001); "Could you make it more celebratory? Could you compromise? [...] that softer word, collaboration [...] because - a lot of c-words here, of a different kind - because of control" (Ellie Bury, 2012); "the dreaded c-word, complacency" (Rob Steen, 2001); "never ever using the c-word: child" (Allison Pearson, 2001); "The labour party conference was abuzz with the C word. [...] Compulsion is back on the agenda" (Liz Dolan, 2003); "they wouldn't even allow the c-word - chainsaw" (Jamie Graham, 2001); 'chips': "People come in and ask for [fries] and we have to tell them that we use the 'C' word not the 'F' word here" (Simon Brooke, 2004); 'challenging': "Blue Circle slipped the "c" word into yesterday's trading statement" (Ben Potter, 1999[a]); "conglomerate. [...] the much-unloved "c" word" (Ben Potter, 1999[b]); "thrown the c-word back into the mix - convergence" (Greg Howson, 2004); "the C-word so often fallaciously slung at him: caricature" (Peter Bradshaw, 2002); "I'm gonna say the c-word [...] Clarkson!" (Katie Tyrll, 2003); "Predicting the effects of London's upcoming C-word (Congestion Zone)" (John Hind, 2003); "avoid the c-word [...] and rule out compensation" (Neil Collins, 2004); "I'm reclaiming the c-word [...] I deliberately use the word conspiracy" (Rose George, 2003); 'constitution': "we won't be hearing too much about the c-word" (Kevin Marsh, 2004); 'compulsion: "it seems he is not going to shun the "C" word" (Patience Wheatcroft, 2004); "craft, the dreaded C word of the art world" (Chuck Close, 2006); "Like "culture," another high-profile C-word these days, "community" is admittedly a catchall" (Doreen B Townsend Center for the Humanities, 1999); 'cocaine': "[Ed Giddins] is always going to be [the] player who was done for the big 'C' word" (Marcus Armytage, 1999); 'championship': "Stevie Craigan is running scared of an ear-bashing from John Lambie for mentioning the 'C' word" (Andy Devlin, 2001); 'crash': "We don't mention the C-word" (Tim Ross and David Gordois, 2001); "uttering the C word - as in "choke"" (George Kimball, 2004); "isn't that Italian "champagne"? No, no, please don't mention the C-word" (Johnny Morris, 2003); 'Curle': "Carlton Palmer banned the C-word" (The Sun, 2004); "censorship [...] talk of the C-word" (Rachel Donadio, 2004); 'condom': "The 'C' word has come out of the closet" (Dick Thompson, 1988); "Cellulite. The "C" word" (Fiona Phillips, 2004); 'comradely': "an exceedingly rare [Tony] Blair use of the c-word" (Andrew Rawnsley and Gaby Hinsliff, 2004); "'There are good comrades who have fallen,' he said, an exceptional use of the c-word from [Tony Blair]" (Andrew Rawnsley, 2010); "conservation [...] I saw the "c" word" (Alistair McGowan, 2003); "the c-word's out, isn't it? Cricket!" (Barbara Wiltshire, 2012); "choice [...] both parties were obsessed with the same c-word" (Peter Barron, 2004); "it was the "C" word that was on everyone's lips. Mr [Bill] Clinton had charisma" (Patrick Barkham, 2004); "the dreaded "C" word is doing the Washington rounds again. [...] people are saying it out loud. [Jimmy] Carter" (Mark Hosenball, 1989); "[He] looked like someone who didn't even know what the C-word might be. Confidential? Cocoa?" (Simon Hoggart, 2003). The revue show The C Word (2005) revolved around three c-words: 'comedy', 'clits', and 'cake'. Kelly A Fryer's book Reclaiming The "C" Word (2006) is subtitled Daring To Be Church Again. Mark Mason's novel The C Words (2005) discusses 'commitment', 'coupledom', and 'children'. Grace Chin wrote a play about commitment titled The C-Word in 2009. Craft Scotland launched the advertising campaign slogan 'THE C WORD' in 2009, to promote craft. Lastly, T-ShirtHumor sells a range of 'the C word' shirts, mugs, mouse mats, aprons, caps, and posters (punning on The L Word) featuring the slogan 'Cranky Covert Controlling Crusading Christian Corporate Compassionate'. The comic strip Dave Snooty And His Pals featured a discussion on the c-word (2010): "DON'T MENTION THE 'C' WORD!" The most frequent word, other than 'cunt', to be termed 'the c-word', is 'cancer': "The C-words Cancer and Comedy" (Allen Klein, 1998) and "students talk about the Big C word. They don't mean Cancer. They mean Commitment" (John Allen Lee, 1998). There have been several books about cancer whose titles include references to 'the c-word': The C Word Cancer The C Word Christ by Mabel Olson (2004), The C-Word by Elena Dorfman (1993), The C-Word by Jean Taylor (2000), and A Lighter Look At The "C" Word by Steve Gould (1997). A cancer-awareness comedy event titled The 'C' Word was held in Toronto in 2010. Newspaper headlines often use the phrase 'the c-word' to pun on other contentious terms beginning with that letter: "the phrase 'the c-word' is sometimes deliberately used to mean something else, while exploiting the intertextuality of the original meaning" (Ruth Wajnryb, 2004). The most common example of this is 'Christmas', which, like 'cancer', can be seen as an alternative 'c-word'. The 2001 headline Don't Mention The C-Word, for example, is about the removal of the word 'Christmas' from secular greetings cards. In the article, Richard Littlejohn asks, rhetorically: "Who, exactly, is offended by the C-word?". He has fun inventing phrases such as "Father C-word", "C-word Eve", and "C-word Day", all attempts to highlight the absurdity of banning the word 'Christmas'. Less festively, he also bemoans the culture of liberalism, 'political correctness', and 'Guardianistas' (in other words, his usual targets), asking: "How on earth do you describe these New Scrooges? Difficult, I know. But try the other C-word". As if that wasn't enough, Littlejohn went on to essentially repeat himself two Christmases later, in another article also headlined Don't Mention The C Word ("the dreaded C Word [...] Christmas", 2003). Catherine Bennett, in an article also headlined Don't Mention The C-Word (in The Guardian, 2003), also criticised the censorship of 'Christmas'. Tim Rider's article C-Word Ban (2004) was also about the contentiousness of 'Christmas': "They do not want any mention of what they call the C-Word because they are worried it will offend followers of other faiths" (2004), as was the article Merry C-Word (in Los Angeles Times, 2004) which urged readers to say 'Christmas' despite its controversy. Yet another article, headlined Just Don't Mention The C-Word (2004) also concerned the festive season: "Ditch the dreams of a white Christmas", as did Jay Nordlinger's article December's C-Word ("people could not bring themselves to utter the C-word", 2003). Other headlines punning on 'the c-word' include The C Word ('celebrity') by Stephen Fry (in The Daily Telegraph, 199-), The C Word ('competition') (in The Sydney Morning Herald, 2003), Just Don't Mention The C Word ('crowd') by Charlie Wyett (in The Sun, 2002), The C Word ('cellulite') by Diane Taylor (in The Guardian, 2002), Calling The C-Word The C-Word ('censorship': "You've got to admire a man who's willing to call the c-word the c-word") by James Poniewozik (2002), The Other C-Word ('cunnilingus') by Susanna Forrest (in The Guardian, 2005), Confidence Is Growing As Cookson Banishes 'C' Word ("eliminating the hated "c" word [...] conglomerate") by Andrew Clark (1999), Like It Or Not You Are Going To Hear The C-Word A Lot ('choice') by Peter Riddell (in The Times, 2004), Salmond Dares To Use The C-Word ('coalition') by Kenny Farquharson (in The Sunday Times, 1999), My Shame At Falling Victim To The Dreaded C-Word ('choking') by Matthew Syed (in The Times, 2002), The C Word ('colleagues') by Martin Waller (in The Times, 1998), Conservative Candidates Told To Avoid The C Word ('conservative') by Andrew Grice (in The Independent, 2001), Come On Mr Clegg Say Your Own C-Word... ('coalition') by Rachel Sylvester (in The Times, 2009), Breakthrough As Hu Says The C Word ("The C word entered the vocabulary of a Chinese president for the first time yesterday, as Hu Jintao promised his country would set its first carbon target") by Jonathan Watts (2009), and Brown Blurts C-Word Five Times ("Gordon Brown used the C-word five times yesterday - as he vowed to CUT state spending") by George Pascoe-Watson (2009). That final example, from The Sun's coverage of a speech by Gordon Brown, also resulted in a Sun leader column headlined C...onfession and a Gordon's C Word cartoon by Andy Davey, in a pun on Gordon Ramsey's The F Word; Patrick Wintour's report of the same speech in The Guardian was headlined At Last, Brown Says The C-Word, But Swears To Save Services (16/9/2009); and The Sunday Times noted that Brown's usage had led to other politicians using the word: Rejoice! All Parties Dare To Use The C-Word (20/9/2009). Ironically, after David Cameron goaded Brown for not saying 'cuts', when Cameron himself became Prime Minister, he used the euphemism 'difficult decisions' to avoid saying 'cuts'. Brown has used the real c-word, as the Evening Standard reported (No 10 Denied Naked Brown Called Aide The C-Word; Joe Murphy, 18/2/2010); and Brown has been a called a cunt by Jeremy Clarkson, according to The Guardian (Clarkson Crashes Into Trouble With C-Word Attack On PM; Leigh Holmwood and Chris Tryhorn, 25/2/2010). 
A To Z: The Cunt LexiconThe sheer extent of the 'cunt' lexicon supports Scott Capurro's assertion that it is "plainly the most versatile word in the English language" (2000). Capurro also notes the variety of reactions provoked by the word: "the reaction can be so varied. Some people will try to be smug about it and think, "Well, that does nothing for me". And the person sitting right next to that person could be completely moved by the word, emotionally drawn to somebody who uses that word, you know. And the person sitting next to that person could be someone who's completely disgusted by it. It's one of those great words that can get many, many different reactions from people." (Pete Woods, 2007). Its versatility is demonstrated by the following 'cunt'-related slang words and phrases, listed in slang dictionaries such as The Cassell Dictionary Of Slang (and its second edition, Cassell's Dictionary Of Slang), A Dictionary Of Slang And Unconventional English, and Profanisaurus Rex; many of them also appear in Talking Cunt, part of the 'cunt' chapter in Jonathon Green's Getting Off At Gateshead:
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